Now, I know that for most of you hardworking students next week is half-term, and that you will be having a well deserved rest after many weeks of the torture that is sometimes known as school. But I thought I would add this excuses to the collection, and maybe you can use it at some future date.

Dear Sir/Miss (delete as appropriate), after I had spent about 36 hours of hard work on my Maths/History——– (include your necessary subjects) I left my paper in the sitting room next to the fireplace for safe keeping.

As you will know, it started to get very cold on Sunday afternoon, and I came into the sitting room to see my Mother lighting the fire. Great I thought, I will be able to snuggle up with my favourite Wibbly Pig toy, a nice hot chocolate and watch the TV. But imagine my horror when I noticed that my short sighted Mother had used my homework to help light the fire, and all I have left is this little corner.

(At this point produce a little piece of burnt paper – bat your eyelids and enter into one of your best smiles).